An anchor is defined ay object used to hold something firmly in position. Over the past year I have really been focused on helping move people out of their comfort zones. I have found that people get anchored down in jobs, relationships, mistakes, and many more scenarios. I started thinking about how these anchors affect or lives and how we respond to those anchors.
- Our own anchors: Jobs
We put our anchors down and will stay anchored there forever. We do that in jobs. Many of you are stuck in jobs that you hate, yet get up and go to everyday. Why? The pay, the retirement, the health benefits, the friendships, or the__________________, anchor you there. I try to encourage teenagers to find something they are passionate about and pursue it without hesitation. As a parent I encourage my own kids to figure out what makes them happy work wise, and go after it. Hey parents, here is a tip. If you are miserable in your jobs, your kids know it. Internally they ask themselves “is this my future” “is this what adulting looks like”. They know you hate it and they become scared, and a scared teenager just shuts down. They are scared of working a job that they hate. We as parents should be too! As a Christian we are all created to do work that matters and have a certain roll to fulfill. So parents, talk to your kids about finding their talents, likes, and where they can do work that matters to them.
2. Our Own Anchors: Relationships
Let me start here, all healthy relationships have room for improvement. There are no perfect relationships, contrary to what everything in our culture tells us. Those cute social media couples, that perfect couple at church, that wonderful couple at work, that couple at ________________. Trust me, they are not perfect. I know because they involve two human beings who are flawed and have their own issues. Teenager love is a whole other world. They crave a relationship and will seek them out, even if they are unhappy or toxic relationships. If you can get your teen to talk, ask them about dating apps. They are familiar with them. It is amazing how many people find relationships on the internet. Dating apps, websites, and social media have increased the size of the dating pool. So relationships are as old as humanity. Yet sometimes we anchor in a bad relationship, because of ________________. That blank has many answers such as: we’ve been together so long, well they will change, we love each other, and so many more. Truthfully, some relationships are just not healthy and our teens need to know that. We have to communicate that relationships are important. Parents please do not dismiss your teens relationships. It is one of the most important things in their lives. We as parents know the chances of their high school sweetheart becoming their future spouse is slim to none However; each relationship helps them define what is and is not important to them. So talk to them about what a healthy relationship looks like; a healthy relationship with God, a sound financial base, a great work ethic, open communications, and healthy language. Now some of us as parents are going to have to work on those items ourselves. There is a lot to the “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. So look at your relationship, if it needs work, get to work!
3. Our Own Anchors: Failures & Mistakes
Nothing defines us like our mistakes and failures. We have the habit of allowing our mistakes and failures to anchor us down. They will come to hold us in place and keep us from our full potential. Here is the truth, we all fail. Failures are the stepping stones to success. However; we can not hop that path while anchored in failure. Maybe you have blown it, failed spectacularly, blown it up, burned it down, stepped all in it, and done the stupidest things and now you define yourself by those mistakes and failures. Here is the good news, you are allowed to fail and try again. Everyone has some failure in their lives. Dave Ramsey was bankrupt, President Grant was a failure, Oprah was a dropout, Jay-Z sold drugs, and President Lincoln failed at business and lost an election. So I think we all can just step back and look at the failures and mistakes in our lives and learn from them and move on. No need to allow them to anchor us down and keep us from our bright, successful future.
After we address some of the anchors that we place upon ourselves, we have to address anchors that other people place on us. People will put anchors on us that keep us from moving forward. Lets look at a few anchors people put onto us.
- Your Past Mistakes and Failures
People will put your past mistakes on you and anchor you to those mistakes of the past. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about. A mistake you made 10 to 20 years ago is still how some people see you. No matter what you do you are still seen as that exact person from that time. They have defined you according to their mistakes. So how do you deal with that and those people? I always say that a conversation is the best place to start. Simply talk to them about how you feel. Tell them how you have grown and moved on from those mistakes. Remind them of this, your mistakes do not define you, they help develop you.
2. Their Past Mistakes and Failures
People love to project their own failures onto other people. I always say that people who talk negative about peoples dreams and goals are people with little to no success in their own lives. They are trying to anchor you down in their own failures. My default way to deal with these type of people is by using this phrase: Don’t take diet advice from a fat person. Or financial advice from a broke person. You feel in the blanks with your own situation.
Do not take _____________ advice from a __________ person.
3. Preconceived Notions and Preconceived Ideas
People have opinions on things they have no information or true understanding about. If you ask me my opinion on topics that I have no idea about, I am not afraid to tell you that I have no clue. Some people have an opinion on everything and if you allow them, they will spread it all over you. Look at social media, so much misinformation out there on any topic you decide to look at. People have those preconceived issues about everything. The best way to avoid them is to not ask their opinions, advice, or thoughts on a subject. Don’t engage with them because they will anchor you down with misinformation.