We were talking about dating these days among youth and college and career. We got into the topic of using dating apps to find people. We started talking about Tinder. Tinder is a notorious dating app designed for hook ups. I made the off hand comment that “If you look in the trash can all you will find is trash.” We all laughed and then thought about how true that statement is. I mean if you are a Christian, dating apps should not be on your radar. Why? The app Tinder is for hooking up. That is not our dating goal as a Christian. We date to find a spouse. We use dating as a means to weed out the fit and unfit. So why use a dating app to find someone. We are designed to be married, have kids, and life as a family for the Lord. Now of course we all want that special someone. I get it and totally understand. Here is the rub though, there are no such things as soulmates. I know, calm down. I can prove it though. My in-laws are prime examples. My mother in-law was married to her first husband for 25 years. He passed away from cancer on Thanksgiving after 25 years of marriage. She has now been married to my wife’s’ dad for over 25 years. If there was only one soulmate for her, she would have been single these past 25+ years!! So stop with the fairy tale and start looking for a good mate.
Now after I had said this to the students, they asked me what I thought was qualities of a good mate. So, I made a quick list.
- Do they love Jesus? Thats the #1 most important question. Is He on their lips and in their heart?
- What is their family like? Family matters. No matter what. Their upbringing, their family dynamics, and how they function as a family matters in your relationship.
- How do they view money? I am a big Dave Ramsey fan and follower. One of the biggest issues he deals with on his show is marriages and money. When one person in the relationship is going one direction and the other going the opposite direction, conflict arises. So It is best to find a person who is similar to you financially.
- What is their love language? Let us start with this, there are 5 Love Languages and we all have them. We all have a top two and we should know ours and know our significant others love languages. You can find out yours here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
- What is their plan? A date should play out like an interview. Whats your goals? Whats your 5, 10, 20 year plan? Now whether or not those plans come to fruition is irrelevant, it is the fact that they have a plan.
Dating in this day and age is so hard and different than when I was dating. Social media, dating apps, FaceTime, and all the technology have changed the game. It has opened up the dating pool area. You can meet people from all over online. So use some judgment and rely on your friends and family to help filter out candidates.